Why Leaders Break this One Rule

What holds us together often holds us back; so great leaders must take this action.

(8 minute read, 6 minute listen)

Here’s a leadership paradox: People love rules. Give them clear instructions, train them well, and they’ll reward you with loyalty, productivity, and performance.

But when the world changes, old rules often stop working—for customers and organizations alike.

So, what’s the fix?

Change management, you say?

Change management is part of the answer—and we’ve explored some great techniques in our Masterminds (and deep dives).

But before you can help people manage change, you have to do something else first:

Break the one rule that’s holding them back.

I’ve called it the Law of Limited Performance for over 30 years. And if leaders want to unlock their people’s full potential, they must break this law—every single day.

Here’s why.

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What Comes Before Change Management

Most change management tools begin with awareness: helping people see the urgency, the opportunity, and the rewards of change. Then they move into building desire—getting people to accept, learn, and embrace the new way forward.

But none of that works if one rule remains unbroken in people’s minds:

The belief that “I can’t become the person I’ll need to be after the change.”

That’s the Law of Limited Performance.

I first encountered it in a sales and management context. It was a psychological insight that said:

People tend to perform only up to the level expected—or tolerated—by their environment. Especially by their leaders, managers, or customers.

But over time, I realized there was one more critical influence:

Themselves.

And that’s the leadership insight. Until people recognize that their own beliefs are setting the ceiling on their performance—and until they challenge those beliefs—they’ll never fully commit to change. They’ll comply, but they won’t transform.

How do I know? Because I hear it all the time:

“I’m doing it this way because I have to… but I’m really someone who prefers the old way.”

Translation: I liked being the person who was good at the old way. I’m not sure I can be that person in the new one.

Leaders Help People Fall in Love with their Future Selves

Over the years, I’ve come to understand that hesitation intimately—because for a long time, my work was all about helping people do change. And on the surface, they did. They followed the steps, checked the boxes, nodded in the right meetings.

But behind the scenes? Many quietly reverted to the old way whenever they could.
Why? Because it made them feel like themselves again. The version of themselves they were comfortable with. The one they knew how to succeed as.

That’s when I realized: real change doesn’t start with behavior.

It starts with identity.

Until someone can see and believe in the person they’ll become on the other side of change, they’ll resist it—no matter how urgent, rewarding, or necessary it seems.

Not urgency.
Not incentives.
Not even fear.
None of it works if the person still clings to who they were.

So here’s the leadership shift:
You have to work on someone’s beliefs before you work on their abilities.

Because once they believe they can become someone new—someone better—then they’ll want to learn, grow, and change.

Working on the Person

In fact, this is exactly what great salespeople do with customers: they help them envision who they can become by taking a step toward the next best version of themselves, through the decision to buy a particular product or service.

Customers don’t buy — they don’t make changes — for what they’ll get.

They make changes for who they’ll become.

Think of a first-time homebuyer: they won’t take on a major financial and emotional risk—regardless of interest rates, inventory, or commissions—until they feel excited about who they will become once they make the leap from renting. That’s the moment they’re ready to buy.

That’s the moment they’re ready to change.

Beliefs Before Actions

Leaders don’t always love hearing this. Why?

Because, as they often tell me, “I didn’t sign up to be a therapist.” But here’s the truth: helping people grow is the most powerful contribution as a leader. And that’s the job you signed up for. If your people don’t grow, your organization won’t either.

Besides, think about the kind of pop-psychology you get to practice: breaking the limits of performance—without needing a doctor’s license! And honestly, it’s not even that hard to do.

At its core, helping people fall in love with the next version of themselves—the one that embraces, masters, and succeeds with change—is deeply rewarding. You’re engaging their positive imagination: helping them envision what they could become if they embraced the change. You’re guiding them to see optimistic possibilities, to transform caution into calculated risk, and to give themselves permission—then the capability and confidence—to reach just beyond who they are today, toward who they want to be.

Now, what leader wouldn’t want to come to work every day and help people experience that kind of transformation?

I’ve even included two of my favorite techniques below. They’re easy to learn, fun to use, and incredibly effective—not just for helping people improve at their jobs:

But for helping them become better versions of themselves.

And that’s why great leaders always break this rule.

See you on the next Mastermind Call.

—M

Two Techniques for Helping People Break the Law of Limited Performance

Any technique for helping people expand their inner beliefs must engage people’s imaginations — but not in a “blue ocean” strategy sort of way. We aren’t throwing people overboard into an “unlimited sea” where they might go anywhere, because in that kind of environment, most people will drown. Rather, we have to give them a "path to explore” so they can wander, without getting completely lost.

So here are two ways to do it, one for individuals and one for your organization: